Mentor Tip of the Week

Visit a farmers' market.  There are many in the bay area--especially now that summer is here.  There's a Saturday market downtown and a Sunday market on California Avenue in Palo Alto.  Redwood City has on on Tuesdays and one on Saturdays.  Search for a farmers' market near you, listen to some music, sample some fruits and veggies, or take some home and try a new recipe or search for a recipe by ingredient.  Explore and have fun!

Spotlight Friendship: Imelda and Julio

Imelda and Julio were matched April 1, 2011, and had a wonderful year together. Imelda and Julio got a chance to try many different activities together and got to visit many cool places. One of their favorites was the The Jelly Bean Factory. Imelda and Julio also attended many Friends for Youth group activities, including the Beach Extravaganza, Tile Making, Alcatraz, the Stress Management Life Skill Workshop, and the Discover the Bay community service project. They received free tickets from Friends for Youth to visit the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Imelda also participated in the Are We Having Fun Yet? online Senior Friend Group. Both Imelda and Julio agreed at their One-Year Friendship Anniversary meeting that they had a fun and exciting year together and have already made plans for future fun and exciting times!

Responses to the Sandusky Verdict and Keeping Youth SAFE

Many of us who work professionally with youth have been following the reports of former Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky, from the initial accusations to the arrest, then trial, and now conviction on most counts. In addition to this story, there is the series of articles about a culture of abuse at a private prep school in Manhattan and, in the San Francisco Bay Area, we’ve also seen several other significant reports of adults in trusted positions who have sexually abused youth. While we’re encouraged in seeing an increased awareness about this issue (as these abuses happen far more often than most people think or hear about), we are deeply saddened that there continues to be more incidents.

Child sexual abuse cases like these often prompt responses similar to, “It shouldn’t have happened!” or “How could these people have had access to vulnerable youth?” or “Why wasn’t anyone noticing what was going on?” For many people who don’t have exposure to abused or neglected youth or know someone who has had this experience, it is natural to be upset even hearing the words used to describe such incidents. Indeed, it can be difficult to even consider that another person is capable of hurting a child this way. Even though it is an extremely uncomfortable topic that generates anxiety and fear, the potential danger for youth is too great for us not to talk about it.

Friends for Youth has been the leader in the youth mentoring field in developing guidelines for programs to implement in order to only select volunteer mentors who are safe. Based on research over the years to produce our resource SAFE(Screening Applicants for Effectiveness): Guidelines to Prevent ChildMolestation in Mentoring and Youth-Serving Organizations  – and more recently for our chapter to be included in the new Handbook on Youth Mentoring, available by the end of this year – we help organizations do better by offering recommendations on the screening and monitoring process and developing policies and procedures to ensure compliance.

In recent trainings with mentoring professionals, I’ve been able to discuss very realistic examples to illustrate our recommendations, including

• Perpetrators often become so well known and liked in a community that family, friends, and acquaintances will go to great lengths to defend them
• By relying solely on a criminal history background check, programs aren’t adequately doing their job of ensuring their volunteers are safe
• Perpetrators will seek many opportunities to have access with children they wish to harm, including volunteer and charitable work
• Most people don’t want to think anyone else is capable of sexually abusing a child, so they often “discount” what they see and hear
• Often, though, after the abuse has been publicized, these same people reflect back on what they saw or heard and realize that they did notice something that made them uncomfortable

After a similar event from several years ago, Kenneth Lanning, a retired FBI behavior analyst who studied child molesters, said the perpetrator showed indicators of concern, but “the indicators are things the average person is not trained to recognize.” Through SAFE, we educate program staff about those indicators and recommend specific tools and processes to implement in order to spot them.

If you are feeling helpless, hopeless, or discouraged by the state of programs designed to support youth and help them thrive, know that you can do something. We recommend

• Asking if other programs that work with children in your community are effectively screening volunteers, both adults and other youth (check out this list of questions for parents from Stop It Now!)
• Letting them know about our SAFE training and resources that we provide to other youth-serving organizations
• Donating to our SAFE 2012 Campaign in order to help us raise funds to produce a new edition of SAFE that will include more recent recommendations and a trainer’s guide, allowing us to reach more youth-serving programs than ever

Thank you for doing all you can to support youth by keeping them safe and helping them thrive!

Meet Our New Summer Intern!

Hello everyone.  My name is Hannah Vizza and I am a recent graduate from California Polytechnic State University in San Luis Obispo. I have a Bachelors of Liberal Arts Degree in History and minors in Art History and Women Gender Studies. After attending Cal Poly, I moved back to my hometown in the bay area where now I have a summer marketing internship with Friends For Youth. I would describe myself as a friendly, positive, and active person. I love to meet new people, play sports, and eat chocolate.

I have many passions including traveling, reading, and painting. During my junior year of college, I was lucky enough to study abroad in Florence, Italy for a semester. In Florence, I immersed myself in my Italian heritage, made pizza, ate way too much gelato, and fell in love with Renaissance art. Also, while studying abroad, I was able to visit seven different European countries, including England, Ireland, Italy, Germany, Spain, Austria, and Czechoslovakia. I made new lifelong friends and enjoyed the different cultures I encountered. This experience broadened my perspective on life and enhanced my adventurous spirit and love of diversity.

In my free time, as I mentioned above, I love to read, paint, and be outside. Currently, I am rereading “Bossypants” by Tina Fey and I still find it just as hilarious as I did the first time. Tina Fey also happens to be not only one of my favorite writers but actors as well. In addition to “Bossypants,” I love to read many other series of books that range from Dan Brown’s “Da Vinci Code” to “Harry Potter” and to “The Lord of The Rings.” Also, I am a Jan Austin fan and have read several of her novels. When I am not reading, I am either outside spending time with my friends, going to Giants baseball games, or painting. Although I am not the best artist, I find painting, drawing, cooking, and other crafts to be both entertaining and relaxing.

I hope you all have found my brief introduction to be informative yet more enjoyable. I am very excited to work more closely with everyone at Friends For Youth!

Mentor Tip of the Week

Organize a garage sale and keep track of how much profit you make. Someone's trash may be someone else's treasure. Ask family, friends, and neighbors if they have anything to give you for the sale. They may be happy to have help to get a few items out of their garage, back yard, or kitchen. Before you do it, check out tips or advice online for having a successful garage sale. And, as always, remember to have fun!

Mentors and Mentees Come Together to Make Tiles of Friendship

Junior and Senior Friends had a chance to show off their creative talents during Tuesday night's Tile Making Activity. Friends for Youth was excited to offer this popular activity again this year.

Thanks to Mentoring Institute Director Sarah Kremer, Friendships got to learn about glazes, coloring, and techniques to employ while decorating their tiles. After the introduction, everyone was given his or her own tile to decorate.

Friendships got to work. Designs and styles varied, but each tile dealt with the theme of Friendship.

"Great activity and turnout," Senior Friend Kristen commented. "We both had a good time - looking forward to seeing the finished product!" All of the decorated tiles will be fired and distributed to the Friendships who made them.

Mentor Tip of the Week

Take a CPR or a first-aid class together. You can also check out the Bay Area Red Cross website for more information. Be safe and have fun!

Friends for Youth congratulates all the 2012 High School and College Grads!

Junior Friend Mayra graduated from Sequoia High School last Friday. She walked to accept her diploma while family members and Friends for Youth staff cheered her on. Mayra will be starting college classes in the fall. 

Friends for Youth congratulates Mayra and all the other 2012 graduates who have been part of the program. Wonderful job on all your hard work and consistent dedication!

Why am I jumping for joy? Because we held another successful Friendship Portrait session with our amazing volunteer, Darren Ferriera, senior photographer of the Gap, Inc. In May, twelve mentor and mentee pairs joined us at the Gap's photo studio in San Francisco for a day of connections, fun, and wonderful photographs. For the past 11 years, we've been very fortunate to have Darren volunteer his time and services to create beautiful and expressive portraits of our mentors and mentees. His studio also sponsors the event, donating the space and equipment, and their corporate office, through an employee volunteerism program, also makes a donation to us - what could be better?

Thank you to Darren, the Gap, and the Gap Foundation!

Becky and Michelle

Dan and Eric

Henry and Joevanny

Lisa and Cindy

Margrit and Arzebet

Mentor Tip of the Week

The days are getting longer, summer is almost here, and free concerts have started (or will start soon) in many cities. Take a blanket and some picnic food and enjoy the wide variety of musical talent. Try Redwoood City, Palo Alto, San Carlos, San Mateo, Mountain View, Los Gatos, San Francisco--or another city near you.  Palo Alto also hosts a World Music Day on Sunday 6/17.  Have fun!