Why I Do This Work

Originally for this blog post, I was going to focus on Child Abuse Prevention Month in April and our upcoming series of webinars addressing how effective screening and monitoring within a youth mentoring or youth-serving program is child abuse prevention, but then I noticed the new Friendship story on our home page. This short diversion of reading about Katie and Elizabether turned into re-reading all of the Friendship stories we have online and thinking about the mentors and mentees I've had contact with over the past almost 10 years. (Turned out to be a not-so-short diversion away from writing this, but I am glad I went with it.)

I've heard a few colleagues who work in similar kinds of programs recently express a sense of low morale and lack of enthusiasm in continuing to do this work. Maybe it's from the ongoing tough economic situation many of us are in, maybe it's a natural phase because we've been working in the same positions or within the same organizations for a significant amount of time, or maybe it's because it's been raining for what seems like months out here! Reading again about how our program has really changed lives reminded me about why I do this work - volunteer mentors may not understand their significance when they start a relationship with their mentees, but we see positive changes when the Friendship is consistent, strengths-based, and focused on fun. We see young people who start to think twice before they make a bad decision or who can begin to envision a future for themselves that may be different from everyone else they know. We also see adult mentors who learn to let go, be more patient, and remember what it's like to do something just to have fun.

Yesterday, I attended a Career Fair at Cisco for high school students from two different districts in our area. I am mentoring one student from this program, as well as helping teachers implement sound mentoring components (including training the other mentors), and they asked me to represent Friends for Youth in a Career Booth. Most of the students who approached me to talk about my career were truly interested in some kind of helping work and a few were just being polite or working with their friends. Clearly, I didn't have the same crowd appeal as the technology or financial companies, but I had more inquiries than in previous years and I got to see one of our mentees who was matched about 3 years ago, who is still in touch with his mentor! By the end of answering the same questions over three hours, I felt even more strongly about why I love doing this work: we help improve people's lives by supporting them as they establish and continue a mentoring relationship. We bring about positive change through relationships, not through a product or curriculum or course - it's all about something we do naturally as human beings and it can have longer lasting impacts than other interventions.

Clearly, it's not just any mentoring program or with just any youth and adult participants that can have these effects - and I am a huge proponent of solid infrastructures and research into why specific components work - but it reminded me that what we are working for is a simple thing: the impact of having an unrelated and unpaid adult every week ask a young person, "How was your day?" cannot be underestimated.

I hope you'll take a quick read through all of our Friendship stories to remind yourself why you're doing this work or why it's important to have positive relationships between adults and youth. Oh, and be sure to check out our upcoming webinars for Child Abuse Prevention Month!

Kiwanis Club in San Carlos

I attended a San Carlos Kiwanis Club meeting last Monday, March 14th, to talk about Mentoring with its members. I brought with me former Junior Friend Jeff Day. Jeff was matched in the late 90s, and is currently finishing his undergraduate degree at NDNU in Belmont. Recently he has been helping Friends for Youth out in various capacities. At the Kiwanis Meeting Jeff spoke eloquently about his own experience in the program.

The Kiwanis Club Members were very receptive to Jeff and me. They gave us a mug full of candy as a gift! It is fantastic to meet so many concerned citizens in one place, and I thank the whole Kiwanis organization, and especially Kiwanis San Carlos for supporting community efforts that matter. Special thank you to Senior Friend Betsey Schneider for inviting Jeff and me.

Friendship photos & quotes

“I am becoming more responsible and wanting to do better in school! Also, I would like to be a mentor too.” -a Junior Friend

“I realized that sometimes by just being there for people, you’re already helping them.” -a Senior Friend
 
“She has influenced me in a good way. Now, I try to do better in school, and everything else." -a Junior Friend

“I’m seeing life from a different perspective, realizing how many people there are out there, who don’t have the same family support and opportunities as I did.” -a Senior Friend

Thank You to Union Bank

Last Monday, February 28th, Friends for Youth spoke to the Redwood City Branch of Union bank about Mentoring. Friends for Youth has been the recipient of generous donations from Union Bank in the past, and this meeting with branch staff marks a welcomed development in the two organizations' relationship.

If you know a bank whose staff wants to learn more about Mentoring, let Jonathan Cowgill know! He is always willing to speak about Friends for Youth, and can easily give a 5 or 10 minute presentation at an office before the doors open. You can contact him at 650-482-2867, or jonathan@friendsforyouth.org.

Does youth mentoring need government support?

Recently, the House passed H.R. 1, a continuing resolution that will cut government programs by $100 billion for the rest of this fiscal year. If it becomes law, this drastic measure would impact many youth-focused federal spending streams, including

• mentoring programs - Mentoring Children of Prisoners, YouthBuild, and Juvenile Justice programs;
• all national service programs - AmeriCorps, VISTA, and Senior Corps;
• job training programs - YouthBuild;
• educational programs - Teen Pregnancy Prevention Community Grants, Teach for America, and 21st Century Learning Centers;
• community-based health care;
• child nutrition programs;
• after-school programs;
• and state grants for incarcerated youth.

Since the House passed H.R. 1, focus will now turn toward the Senate. Youth Today reports that, “Who delivers the message will also matter. It will likely fall to champions of youth programs in the Senate to hold the line on any spending.” In the next several weeks, we'll see how the two chambers will reconcile their differences. If you are on any youth mentoring or youth-serving program’s email list, you’ve been encouraged to let your Members of Congress know how important it is to protect programs serving at-risk youth and that current allocations are not even enough to serve this vulnerable population.

Last Friday, February 25, was Save Service Day where youth services advocates were advised to contact their representatives. If you haven’t already, contact the youth/children staff members in your Representatives’ and Senators' Washington, DC, offices. You can use a sample letter or sample talking points as a model (see examples from MENTOR or Big Brothers Big Sisters of America). Hopefully, programs across the country reached out (or will do so quickly) to make a major impact.

Why is this important? While a major criticism of federally-supported programs like Mentoring Children of Prisoners often heard is that grants create funding for a limited amount of time and then leave programs to find resources to sustain what they have built (and support the youth in whose lives they are now entwined), often unsuccessfully, continued federal funding of programs that support children is vital. In our current economic climate, community resources are stretched tight, too – individual donations are down and many state agencies and private foundations have been focusing on meeting basic needs, like shelter, food, and emergency services. When compared with these important issues, youth mentoring programs may seem incidental.

However, those of us who have worked in the field for at least a few years know that it is not. The care and support from a mentor can positively impact a youth’s outlook on their education, family and peer connectedness, and feelings of self-confidence and self-worth, while negatively impacting their involvement in risky behaviors and delinquency. The cost of prevention in dollars is insignificant compared to the costs of academic failure, intervention services, job losses, and community decline. With the support of federal funding streams, mentoring programs can keep doors open to provide transformational relationships to youth who need them most and rally further funding from their communities and networks of supporters.

Please use your voice today to help us continue supporting children and youth in our communities.