Friends for Youth Holiday Extravaganza!

This past Sunday Friends for Youth celebrated the holiday season with a bang! Thanks to the donations collected by Emeritus Friendships network this summer, this year’s holiday celebration was special and one of the best yet. The donations paid for the venue, food, and gifts for every Friendship.

This year’s celebration took place at The Winter Lodge in Palo Alto, and it's hard not to get into the holiday spirit once you are there. About 30 Friendships attended and got into the holiday spirit and enjoyed a fun afternoon full of ice skating, lunch, board games, and making new friends. The Friendships were joined by their guests, staff, and a few Board members. As part of the celebration, we collected canned foods to donate to our local food bank. Thank you everyone for your generosity. The delicious lunch was provided by Arguello Catering and was super yummy!

It was great to see to everyone having such a fantastic time on Sunday, and we can only hope this special event sponsored by the Emeritus Friendships network becomes an annual holiday tradition!

 

                 
                  
                  

Emeritus Friendships Alumni Profile: Rob Inouye

My journey with Friends for Youth began in December of 1989 when I was matched with a fantastic 13-year-old named Marvin. Our first outing together was a visit to Alcatraz, and we participated in many memorable group events including a trip to Disneyland, water skiing at Lake Shasta, and multiple holiday parties. We spent many visits together making dinner and just hanging out and talking, and thanks to the amazing job the staff did in matching the two of us, we were both incorporated into each other's families. We have been in and out of contact over the years, including many years where I did not hear from him, and he was finding his own path. Most recently and unexpectedly he found me and called me on my birthday of all days, and we were able to catch up. Who knew 20 years later the lasting connection we built as friends would still link us together? Marvin is now all grown up. He is married and has a one-year-old daughter. I feel fortunate to know him. 

                    

In 2005 I had the amazing opportunity to be matched with a second young man I met at a waitlist event at a San Francisco Giants baseball game. The activity was the result of a collaborative partnership between my employer, Oracle, and Friends for Youth. Thankfully Friends for Youth staff member Sarah Kremer saw how well RJ and I got along sitting in the bleachers watching the game, and soon after we were matched up. RJ and I spent many evenings together talking about life and trying to make our way through the entire California Pizza Kitchen menu at the Hillsdale Mall, but the crowning moment in our Friendship was when he asked me to come to his Back to School Night at Hillsdale High School. I was able to meet all of his teachers and get their contact information so we were able to bring schoolwork into our conversation in addition to what was happening in his life. RJ’s family has since moved around a lot, and we’ve lost touch, but I hope one day RJ and I can reconnect as well. 

                   

Thanks to this second match I was able to re-engage with Friends for Youth, and I joined their Board of Directors in 2006. Having been a Senior Friend and also having assisted the staff as a volunteer counselor in the 1990s made me very comfortable with the Mentoring Services, but being a Board Member made me appreciate in a broader sense how important the organization is on the Peninsula to both the community and the kids we serve. My time as Board Chair helped me sharpen my skills as an advocate for such a worthwhile organization. The services we provide to the community are priceless as are all the memories I have of both my Junior Friends, Board members, and staff members who have come into my life. 

Thanks for everything you do Friends for Youth!

First published in the November 2013 Emeritus Friendships Bulletin

Emeritus Friendships Alumni Profile: Robbi Coleman

My involvement with Friends for Youth began in 1997 when I was matched with Jackie, a fun-loving, capable, and considerate eighth grader. My Friendship with Jackie continues to this day, as does my support of Friends for Youth. I’ve been a Senior Friend, volunteer, ambassador, recruiter, and donor. 

I was an enthusiastic Senior Friend, committed to supporting Jackie in achieving her goal: high school graduation in 2001. For me, being a Senior Friend has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. It was easy to give my time to mentoring because I saw results of the investment, both in Jackie and myself. I loved that Jackie was “up” for anything and that often she suggested activities and outings that we could share. I gladly accepted the challenge of keeping her interested in school. 

One of my favorite memories is of a Saturday afternoon selecting produce that could be used in a photo essay about geometry in nature—laughing as we considered the shapes of peppers, tomatillos, lemons, squash, and melons. The effort paid off: In her junior year Jackie achieved a personal-best GPA, was elected class vice president, and was selected for her school’s leadership program. I was thrilled that Jackie expanded her ideas about what was possible for her! 

        

After Jackie’s graduation from high school, I moved to the East Bay. Despite this, Jackie and I have still kept in contact and see each other regularly. And even though I live and work on the other side of the Bay, I discovered another way to support the work of Friends for Youth. I was surprised to learn that much of the planning for fundraising events (such as the Fashion Show and Golf Tournament) is done by conference call! I found that I could help on a committee from the relative comfort of my office. 

Over the years Jackie and I have told our story at Friends for Youth celebrations, fundraisers, and recruiting events. Ambassadorship is important to the organization—it can bring new mentors, donors, and supporters. Jackie and I continue to tell our story in the hope that it motivates others to get involved. 

                          

I believe that Friends for Youth is doing vital work for our community. Individuals and communities benefit. I’ve benefited. I’ll continue to give money and time because I believe that involvement in Friends for Youth for both Junior and Senior Friends is transformative.

First published in the July 2013 Emeritus Friendships Bulletin

Emeritus Friendships Alumni Profile: Judy Heyboer

As a human resource professional, I have long understood the power of mentoring. My career has benefited tremendously from my connection with people wiser and more experienced than I, who were willing and able to share their views and learning, and provide a safe and non-judgmental place for me to share my hopes and concerns. 

So in 2000, when I “retired” from corporate life, and a colleague invited me to take a look at Friends for Youth, it immediately made sense. I realized, as I got to know the organization, that there are so many children who, despite having family who love and worry about them, still don’t have someone to talk to who listens just because they care and want to share. And having someone who chooses to be there is an amazing gift, not just of time, but of confidence and security. 

I served on the organization’s Board for quite awhile before I was ready to mentor. As a single mother of two, trying to make sure my own two kids had all they needed to succeed in life, I was worried that I didn’t have enough time or wisdom for a child not my own. But at some point, as my own kids pulled away to claim their independence, I was ready to listen and support a youth without the comfortable advantages my own children had. Mentoring with Friends for Youth was as much a blessing and learning to me as it was to my mentee. 

My junior friend, Melissa, was 11 when we were matched. She was sweet and shy and full of interesting ideas and questions about friends, foes, and families. We enjoyed walking and cooking and trying arts and crafts, though our efforts often led to more laughter than success. Melissa tentatively embraced my love of books and reading, and rewarded me with Spanish lessons. She practiced walking my dog to demonstrate to her dad that she could indeed care for a pet, and gradually began to talk about goals for growing up. While Melissa’s family moved out of the area, I hear from her occasionally, and her letters tell me the values I hoped to convey are still part of her repertoire, and while she struggles as any teenager does, she tells me she still cherishes memories of singing in the car and playing silly games, and I know she knows that she will always have a friend who chose to care about how she grows up. 

I continue to support and give to Friends for Youth because I KNOW mentoring makes a difference. I know what it has done for me, and I rejoice in the difference it can make to kids in need of someone to listen and care.

First published in the May 2013 Emeritus Friendships Bulletin

Emeritus Friendships Alumni Profile: Steve Johnson

About 20 years ago, I was looking for a volunteering opportunity and happened to hear a PSA for Friends for Youth at a Stanford football game. I responded, and began a long and rewarding relationship with this small but mighty organization. 

An 18-month Friendship began my Friends for Youth journey, and it was an eventful, challenging, and rewarding ride. I was matched with a boy who was eight going on 28—a hard-shelled little guy who was the “man” of his house, taking care of his partially disabled single mom and his younger half-brother. It took me months to get Scott to open up to me, but thereafter we had lots of good experiences, until he and his family suddenly left the area, never to be heard from again. I took solace in believing that both of us had grown during our time together. 

                         

Since then, I have served on the Friends for Youth Board and have made Friends for Youth my top financial support priority every year, also including them in my estate plan. 

In a crowded universe of worthwhile causes, Friends for Youth epitomizes to me a local, life-changing organization with a broad reach, sharing its proven expertise to help make successful mentoring a reality all over America and beyond.

First published in the March 2013 Emeritus Friendships Bulletin

Emeritus Friendships Alumni Profile: Jim Prior

I have been a Senior Friend for two years. Looking back, I was naive about the level of commitment required—it has been much bigger than I originally envisioned. Even "successful" people have lives and relationships that are messy. The difference with a lot of Junior Friends is they have fewer options and less of a safety margin. Things crash quickly. But the reward for us is commensurately uplifting and fulfilling. Nick, my Junior Friend, trusts me, confides in me, and we both know that our relationship matters. After two years I want more than ever to be there to help. We all know that there are many more in need of our imperfect help.  This does not happen by itself, and so I have been trying to raise money to support the Mentoring Services offered by Friends for Youth. I am a local businessman and have enlisted and will continue to enlist the support of other local businesses. My method is to recruit help from within my circle—in the same way a Senior Friend conducts a relationship with their Junior Friend—one-to-one. My goal is for each local business to feel connected to the impact they are having on the Junior Friends they are helping. I want to help build community between these new supporters and our youth.

First published in the January 2013 Emeritus Friendships Bulletin

Emeritus Friendships Alumni Profile: Anne Cashman

My name is Anne Hurley Cashman, and I became a volunteer with Friends for Youth (at the time Partners, Inc.) in 1980. I later joined the staff for two years and then served as a member of the Board of Directors. I am fortunate to still be in contact with my Junior Friend Lynda. She is now married (yes, I got to attend the wedding!) and has three boys.

I give to Friends for Youth because both Lynda and I have benefited tremendously from our match. Over the years I have given to the program through the Annual Campaign appeal. About a year ago the current Board held a reception for past Board members. Being back with people who care so much for the at-risk youth in our community re-inspired me! My husband and I currently support the cost of a friendship through a monthly donation. We are also including Friends for Youth in our estate planning. Recently, I have gotten involved in reaching out to Alumni Senior Friends, and you might have even heard directly from me this past summer.

I know my years with Friends for Youth hold many fond memories for me, and I am thinking there are many others who would like to be back in touch. I hope you enjoy hearing from Friends for Youth!

First published in the November 2012 Emeritus Friendships Bulletin